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Showing posts with the label guilt

Anniversaries & Anxieties

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  16 th June, 2021 . Bloom’s Day. I mark the date because it’s my blog-anniversary. This is my space to think aloud without judgment and prudent advice, to ramble my heart out, to find my way as all who wander lost may someday find theirs. It’s been a strange world, a strange time. Where would you wander when paths were closed? And the people died, without help, without love, without dignity. And the world carried on, in light that was always eight minutes late, as moments turned into memories, as memories faded into dull, half-forgotten heartaches, as all aches blurred into the fog of the blank spaces. And the light was always eight minutes late. We woke, opened our eyes, saw the world in delayed light, tried to make sense of it all, and no wonder we got it all wrong. When the darkness came, we looked up and said our prayers, pinning all our hopes on God. “Move him into the sun”, we said. And God was eight minutes late. I wonder, if tomorrow, in some moment of inexplicable co...

Meera

-Why are you here? -Why am I here? Is that all you can say? After all these years? -I do not wish to remember. -But you haven’t really forgotten, have you? - -Meera, please- -Don’t call me Meera. I don’t have a name. - … I’ve looked for you for so long—believe me, when you disappeared- -You didn’t look for me . -Oh yes I did. Listen, Meera- -I’m not Meera. The girl called Meera died years and years ago- that wasn’t me. I didn’t disappear, I just wasn’t ever there. You searched for the wrong person- she’s dead, you hear me? -I searched for you. You aren’t dead. -I’m not her. -Of course not. You are you. And it’s you I’ve been looking for, it’s you I want. -Yes, as a replacement. -No, as a sister. -Sorry to disappoint. I’m nobody’s sister. I’m not the daughter of anybody’s parents. You , of all people should know that. -You are my sister. That-that house you left, it’s as much your house as it’s mine. Let’s go home, Meera. -You did so well till the last word. -What do...