Ruchira's Ramblings

I watched the starlings perch on a swaying stalk of long grass as the wind gushed about and thought, perhaps little birds need their share of adventure too. And when flying is one’s natural state of being, perhaps even the sky seems to be nothing more than an overworked old map. For don’t we all come from infinite source, seeking infinite experiences in finite things? And so the clock ticks, and the earth rolls, and another year comes to an end. Things I’ve done for the first time in 2018: Presented papers at two academic conferences. And it wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought that would be, although, let’s be honest, it’s a little disconcerting to be talking to a room full of people while pretending you know exactly what you’re talking about. I think I did okay. Participated in a poetry-reading. I didn’t read it as well as I had hoped to (see point above regarding a room full of people staring at you), but considering I hadn’t thought of myself as a poet for some yea...

Original Song Lyrics ©Ruchira Mandal Withdrawal Signs Last Friday night when I was high, You caught my hand and helped me fly And now I’ve gotten used to the sky, Dancing on the clouds with you beside, The heady rush of wind so blue! And now I’ve gotten used to you. But now my mouth is full of ashes, I dream of empty spaces, It’s hard to breathe while falling Though I try. And there are voices in my head That talk to me of the dead, And I sit and count my failings, And all your lies. Last Friday night I won the game Took my shot and hit my aim, And now I’ve gotten used to the fame For nothing else quite feels the same And I’ve tried so hard to forget you- But you were such a dream come true. And now I’m going through the paces And all those vacant gazes, I don’t know where I’m going Or why. All I want is sweet bliss, What’s the point of all this, Why all this endless striving’ To die? Last Friday night was a ...