No time like the present!

So, finally, I've come up with the plan to keep this blog working. Writing work-outs! Yes!
Over the sparsely productive years of my life as parts of various online writing communities, I have collected various writing prompts, exercizes to generate ideas, work-outs to break that damnable writers' block- all safely pasted, saved and filed away in an obscure folder on My Computer. Now, my plan is to use those exercizes to keep those blog-posts coming at respectable intervals. I might still come up with other posts, though, when the mood hits me, so watch out for those, but here's the first of the exercizes:

 1. Think of adjectives that define your personality. For example, mine might be bold, cocky, friendly, straightforward and witty. With those adjectives in mind, write 350 words on your favourite activity, and infuse those personality traits into your words. 
Right, I accept I'm cheating a bit here. This was written weeks ago and I just didn't post it. Because, you know, laundry and procastrination.


          Friendly, lazy, careless, nervous, dreamy, sweet, picky, afraid

What I like best doing is to write random pieces. And daydreaming. That’s great too, except it’s pretty much a futile loop that gets me nowhere. Writing is better, you get to leave something concrete, even if you’re the only one who sees them. Of course writing will involve you to actually make an effort, and in that respect reading is better. Easy to slip into someone else’s life so long as it allows you escape from taking the reins of your own. The worrying part is you gotta teach, and then you start analyzing characters, and then you start seeing yourself everywhere- Eustacia Vye, Raju, Gatsby… it’s actually very frightening because one day this suspicion may become stronger than your faith and that is when you realize what you had known all along, that there is no magic waiting to happen at all. Sucks, that’s R.K Narayan’s protagonists all over the place. What I’m actually doing here is talking to myself, but I’m not listening either. So what do I gain from these undisciplined stints of writing?

And oh, I enjoy being a couch potato, but I think that’s the lazy part of me acting out, as well as the fear that if I can’t continuously immerse myself into other people’s stories- however trivial and pointless, I will be forced to confront the emptiness that I sometimes find in my own. Work day- no problem. Students, prepping, the AC in the Staff Room and therefore the need to go take a walk, no problem at all. But when I actually have the time to attempt those dreams that can fill in the emptiness I find when I contemplate my life long-term, dreams that I have of breaking free of the shackles, then- I think the imposing nature of the task intimidates me. I want to do it, I want to write, and I want to stay away from it as long as possible.  Because, what if I fail? What if all I can give to it isn’t enough? But there’s nothing ever as relaxing than penning words, allowing them to come, freely, of their own volition, with no need for significance or glory or anyone questioning if they will amount to something. Except I want something. I want success. And I love aimless writing. And I’m afraid of the long hard slog of the quest. Yes, I’m thinking about fictional characters with flaws again. See, this is why I wanted to stay away from Freud and Jung all my life. And now apparently I have to understand Lacan. You brought that one upon yourself, DreamStruck!

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