Nothing Happening

It's alternatively scorching hot and windy wet here at Kolkata. It is usually very cool after sunset, especially when the clouds darken and there are rainy winds blowing from the South, which is why I love my evening walks on the roof. But the days are unbearably hot, especially on Wednesdays when I go to college and need to walk some distance in the sun while returning home(around 1-2pm) and on Sundays when I have my music class for which I need to leave home at 12pm, yeah, right under the midday sun's scorching glare.All this heat is taking a toll on my sleeping habits- my brain feels so dull after I return from these 'moments under the sun' that I can't help taking a nap...which means I can't sleep early at night. And I used to be the "early to bed" type! You might be wandering why I am going to college only once a week. Well you see, our classes are officially over and even the extra classes have long ceased. A few of us devoted lot make the weekly trudge for some last minute suggestions and advices. We are also supposed to submit three-four essay-type answers, and I started pretty enthusiastically, but by the 2nd week it was all gone. This Wednesday I managed to hand over an answer on Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy(from Austen's Pride &Prejudice, for those unfortunate lot who are not acquainted with him) which took me about 2 weeks to write. And after all the 'effort', my teacher said I ought have included critical cross-references. But never mind, nice man, Darcy! I wish there were men like him in real life! Well, all these preparations are for our University exams in June- starting on June 20th and ending in July, completely ruining my birthday in the way. But the good thing is that I am going to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows after that. Well, the little waitings in life make life so interesting. I know I am going to be depressed once I've finished reading the book- I've found that a slight emptiness always happens after a period of waiting, once the thing I was waiting for is over, and till some new is found to look forward to. And this being the last book, there is going to be a greater emptiness, especially because knowing Rowling, the ending can't be particulary feel-good 'they-lived-happily-ever-after' type. Well, at least the movies are not over yet, Harry Potter has sort of become a part of life, it is going to be strange without having to wait impatiently for the next week. But look what happens when I once start blabbing about that boy wizard...I was talking about other things. Have you ever felt frustrated because nothing was happening in your life. I often feel it, although I also know myself to be too lazy a creature to be part of a real-life adventure. But waiting for little things keeps me happy- whether it is the plan to meet my school-friends after the exams, or waiting to watch your favourite show on television...I feel so sorry for Eustacia Vye(Thomas Hardy-The Return of the Native). She had nothing to wait for. No wonder she was so desperate to fall in love with Clym. I started writing this yesterday and had to stop and switch off my computer as the Norwester hit. There is something about this stormy rainy darkness that I love. When I see the dark clouds gathering, like a great army descending on earth,or tall trees shaking and my familiar neighourhood is transformed into remote lands of fantasies where I must journey to find some treasure- I feel all the poetic ideas stirring within my heart and yet I fail to find the words to give shape to them. It was evening and someone was blowing the conch shell. I felt the thunder, the lightening, the dark, green leaves of the shaking trees were all following the same rhythm- the rhythm of the conch shell's music. I do think I have a talent for random blabbings. Thanks for bearing it with me.


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